


La Exquisite Douleur

by deansbrave



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Copious amounts of the word fuck, F/M, Gen, More tags as I go, Mutant, Mutant Reader, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Torture, Rape Aftermath, and Tight Squeeze for those of you that know me from there, events from some of the comics will make it in here, lost of swearing, marvel comics crossover ish, possible steve/reader i'm still waiting to see where this goes too lol, seriously it's a little ridiculous, taking a break from Supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:18:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9339416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deansbrave/pseuds/deansbrave
Summary: La Exquisite Douleur - the heart-wrenching pain of loving someone unobtainable.Previously titled Third Eye*Chapters after 3 will no longer be in chronological order, and will be posted as scenes/vignettes.  Chapters that do have an order will be labeled as such





	1. Chapter 1

New York is always under attack.  If it’s not aliens, then it’s the mob, or drug cartels, or super villains, or that fucking _lizard man_.  Seriously what the fuck? And it’s not like she’s a stranger to it.  Most of the attacks she avoids easily enough, (in a city as large as New York conflict is easy enough to avoid unless you’re looking for it, looking at you Murdock, Cage, and Jones) there’s always someone else there anyway by the time she gets there.  Except tonight of all nights. 

 

The one night in the fucking year where apparently all the other hero’s living in New York have decided that apparently it’s their day off (vigilante’s included) and she’s all that’s left. 

 

Great.

 

Could this city be any more fucked than right now?

 

Probably.

 

She’d fucking take Deadpool saving the day over this right now, and Wade is the poster boy for fucking shit up, but here she goes anyway.  Time to become the new poster boy for fucking up… poster girl… whatever.

 

“Where the fuck did you get that mask?” One robber laughed at her.

 

“It looks like one of those cheap plastic two dollar ones you get off stands on the side of the street!” Another joined in.

 

They were right.  They didn’t need to laugh about it.

 

“Look I’m not in the mood for this, and this isn’t really my thing-”

 

“Look you ain’t the Avengers, you ain’t Daredevil, and you sure as shit ain’t Deadpool-”

 

“Thank God”

 

“Right?”

 

“The point is, you ain’t shit, you’re just a stupid little fat bitch in a cheap mask, what’re you gonna do to me?”

 

Now she was pissed.

 

 

One robber hanging off a street lamp, another hanging off the bank’s logo, and the final one was being placed (by the elastic of his tidy whities no less cause you don’t call Jacqueline Blackwall part time super hero a fat little bitch, and expect to get away with it) on the other end of the banks logo.  Once he was perfectly in place she dropped her hands cutting the link between her mind, and the flow of energy she was producing.  With her hands on her hips she nodded to herself. 

 

“Not half bad.”

 

“Coulda done better if ya ask me”

 

“Jesus shit!” She screamed.

 

“Nope.  Not Jesus or his shit.  Just me.  Your old buddy Deadpool.”

 

“And where the fuck were you ten minutes ago?”

 

“Not giving a rats ass about a bank robbery, until I saw who was stopping it.  Look at you, doing the right thing for once.  It’s kinda sickening actually… what – whats your name even? Did we settle on a super hero name for you yet?”

 

“I’m not a super hero, I’m just your friendly neighborhood mutant who’s sick of cleaning up the messes that are supposed to be cleaned up by you actual fuckin’ heroes!”

 

“Whoa, whoa, let’s get it right okay, I’m not a hero I’m kinda – kinda neutral here.  Call me Switzerland.”

 

“Right well whatever.  Why don’t you, and all you’re little super hero fuck buddies get your shit together, and take care of the messes if that’s what you’re here to do like you keep saying you’re here to do!”

 

“Whoa, easy tiger” He held his hands up in defense.

 

“I’ve got a perfectly good life living under the radar now where no one alive, except for you unfortunately, knows who I really am, or what I can do.  Now if you’ll excuse me I have a cat to get home to.”

 

* * *

 

It was a little unexpected the next day to be told of a surprise assembly for the little upper eastside private school that Jack worked at.  Lucky for her private schools funded the shit out of their extracurriculars, and had found herself a cushy job as an art teacher straight out of college; the principal had just absolutely adored her portfolio.  And in absolutely no way had Jack’s sweet talking, and promises of portraits, and _“You’ve just got wonderful bone structure I’d love to draw you”_ got her the job.

 

And who was the surprise visit by?

 

Tony Stark.

 

_Just why?_

 

And before the assembly, a tour of the school.  Which had brought the Principal into Jack’s empty classroom.  It was her free hour, and she was critiquing (and if she heard another student call it grading she was going to lose her fucking _shit_ ) sketchbook assignments.  She was a lenient teacher, as one had to be with art, and so far not a single student in any of her classes was failing.

 

Back to the point.  Tony Stark.  In her classroom.

 

“This is our newest staff addition.  Miss Blackwall, this is Tony Stark” The Principal introduced, proud of her little artist.  Jack got out of her seat with a tight smile smoothing down her blouse, and adjusting her blazer before reaching out to shake Starks hand.

 

“Pleasure to meet you.”

 

He kissed her hand, lips just light brushing her knuckles.

 

“Pleasures all mine.”

 

_You’ve been hit by, you’ve been struck by, a smooth criminal._

 

Fuck.

 

He pulled back, and Jack took her hand back, trying to ignore the way her Principal seemed ready to just burst at the seams.

 

“If you lovely ladies will excuse me, I think I’d like to view all the art before I head down to the assembly hall.”

 

Tony left the room, and both women watched him go.

 

“If anyone in the world had a chance at anything ever, it would be you, being able to hit that.”

 

Jack stared at her principal wide eyed.

 

“What? I’m a little too old… and married for that sort of thing anymore.  However I can absolutely encourage you to go for it especially after that introduction.”

 

Jack just laughed.

 

“Absolutely not.  I respect myself too much.”

 

* * *

 

“So it turns out you, and I have a friend in common” Stark said upon walking into her office as the last bell rang.  He pulled the office door closed behind him, and locking it.  Students exited the room a little more slowly now seeing the infamous Tony Stark in their art teachers office with the door closed.

 

“Oh?” She asked looking up from her paper work folding her arms across her chest.

 

“Yeah.  Annoying, sarcastic, kind of a piece of shit.”

 

“I know a lot of people like that.”

 

“Wears a red suit, and likes to call himself an Avenger.”

 

“And how the fuck do you know, that I know him?”

 

“He has a big mouth.”

 

“That’s going to hopefully get ripped off the next time I see him.”

 

“He bragged about you last night.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Said you two went way back.”

 

“Oh yeah, sure do, back to our days in an inhumane lab being experimented on by sadistic fucks using torture to turn us into mutants.”

 

Starks face fell.  “I’m sorry you went through that.”

 

“It’s in the past.”

 

“But you’re powerful from what I hear, Wade said you can move stuff with your mind?”

 

“He just doesn’t know when to shut up does he?”

 

“He does not.”

 

“Just… what’s your point here?”

 

“I’m extending an invitation.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m here to ask you to join the Avengers.”

 

 

“Fuck the hell no.”

 

“What?”


	2. Chapter 2

It was like he was following her or… something.  How else did he end up at the same club she went out to that night with some of her college girlfriends.

 

The answer was surprisingly simple.

 

“I own the club” Tony yelled over the music.  He’d whisked Jack (and her friends) up to his own private balcony.

 

“Seriously?” She asked, annoyance clear on her face “I mean, fuckin’ seriously?”

 

“What? I still know how to go out, and have a good time.  Just cause I’ve slowed down lately-”

 

“Look, my dude, the answer is still no okay? I mean don’t get me wrong I appreciate the free booze, and the VIP lounge-”

 

“Well of course you do, a nice little get away spot from all the crowd-”

 

“Crowds suck.”

 

“You’re tellin’ me.  But” Tony led Jack to sit on the couch, and she kept a close eye on her friends dancing, chatting up the other people in the VIP lounge, drinking from the open bar “Look at this huh? Nice secluded little spot for you, and me to talk? How’s that?”

 

“My answers still no.”

 

“Why? Why would you say no to the opportunity of a lifetime?”

 

“Because I don’t deserve it.”

 

“You think I thought I deserved it when I was asked to join the Avengers?”

 

“Yeah, knowing you, you probably thought you were the greatest thing to grace the planet-”

 

“Universe actually, get it right.”

 

Jack took a deep breath, and held it in trying to push back the anger that was very close to bubbling over the surface.

 

“Why do you want me to say yes so badly?”

 

“Honestly?” Tony asked looking at her over his own glasses.

 

“Yes? Please just be honest with me, there is nothing I appreciate more than the truth.”

 

“The truth is, is that I’ve… never been rejected in my entire life.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Seriously, I have never been rejected as badly as you’re rejecting me-”

 

“At what point was this about you? I thought we were talking about me joining the Avengers not spending a… fucking one night stand with you?”

 

“Well I took the no personally.  You don’t just say no to joining the Avengers that’s just… stupid!”

 

“Well there’s a reason I went to art school, now if you’ll excuse me” Jack stood up, and glared at Tony “I need to leave.”

 

“Leave? You just got here, the nights young, at least let me _try_ to get in your pants… mini skirt, that’s a very nice outfit by the way you look absolutely… ravishing.”

 

“Still a no!” She called heading for the exit.  She stepped into the elevator sending a text to her friends group chat letting them all know she was headed home.

 

* * *

 

Stepping outside into the cool October air was a relief.  The line to get into the club was longer than when Jack had gone in, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Tony was the reason they’d gotten in at all.  Her friend had said there was only a small chance of them all making it in. Jack just shrugged it off, and started walking looking for a Taxi.

 

Until she was tackled into the nearest alley way.

 

“Fuck!”

 

She skidded across the pavement, and only finally came to a stop once she connected with the dumpster leaving an indent in it.

 

“Long time no see.”

 

“Angel Dust? Really? Are you fighting Wade right now or somethin-”

 

A kick to the gut, and Jack’s skidding down the rest of the alley almost into the next block.

 

“What’s the matter? You got no juice?”

 

“Angel… I seriously cannot do this today” Jack grunted, and stood up on shaky legs “So just tell me what’s eating you, and then go the fuck away.”

 

“You ever hear of a group called the Marauders?”

 

“…Like Harry Potter?”

 

“No you fucking nerd! I’m taking Mutant Assassins!”

 

“…No shit?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Like they’re assassins who specifically target mutants, or they’re assassins who also happen to be mutants?”

 

“Actually I don’t know which one to be honest.  I think it’s the second one.”

 

“And why do I need to know about Mutant Assassins?”

 

Angel Dust gave Jack a strange look.  It was kind of far away, and sad, and angry all at once.

 

“Because Mutants have rights too, and we don’t deserve this.”

 

“But you’re totally gonna beat the shit out of me, before you warn me about something dangerous happening to mutants?”

 

“Always.”

 

Jack just sighed, and didn’t make a single noise when Angel’s fist connected with her face.  One thing she was thankful for about Killebrew, and his sick experiments… she also healed a slightly accelerated rate.

 

* * *

 

“All I’m asking for here… is a chance” Tony said placing a rather gorgeous floral arrangement on Jack’s work desk the next morning.

 

“A chance at what? We talked about this already I’m not interested, I’ve said no like… six times now.  You’re not one of those creepy fuck boys who thinks no means yes are you?”

 

“No, no, no… no means maybe.”

 

“Tony Stark I swear to fucking Christ-”

 

“Whoa, whoa, you leave J.C. out of this.  This is between a very attractive, amazing, albeit emotionally constipated, and unstable man, and a… decently attractive, very rude, and bitchy woman.”

 

“Decently attractive?”

 

“I mean… you’re a solid six.”

 

“Seriously dude?”

 

“That shiner isn’t helpin’ you any.  Where’d you get it if you don’t mind my asking?”

 

“Fist fight with a dumpster.  You ready to get the fuck out of my office after insulting me?”

 

“Just… let me make it up to you okay? I can take you anywhere you want huh? How about authentic Italian Pizza in Italy? How about that for a first date?”

 

“Whoa, whoa, who said anything about dates? I thought you were still just trying to get me to join the Avengers.”

 

“I am… the way that I am most capable of.”

 

“By seducing me?”

 

“Well I’d say more like wooing, seducing entails me wanting to uh… have fun with your naughty bits.”

 

“You just keep digging yourself deeper Stark.”

 

“Not saying that I don’t want to have fun with your naughty bits, I bet they’d be great.”

 

“And you’ll never know” Jack interrupted “Now please.  Just get the fuck out of my office okay? I have important work to do.”

 

“Okay… here” Tony held out a piece of paper to her.  Jack eyed it suspiciously.  “Go on, take it, it won’t bite.”

 

Jack tentatively reached out, and took it.

 

“Atta girl.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“A series of numbers.”

 

“What?”

 

“My phone number genius.  You change your mind, or you find yourself in a bad way just give me a holler and I will show up… and maybe some of the other Avengers will too, but no promises.”

 

“Yeah okay, just gonna put this through my shredder, talk to you never Stark.”

 

“So mean… I love it” Tony winked at Jack before walking out of her office.  She sat down with a heavy sigh, and stared at the number in her hands. 

 

She reached for her phone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other shoe always has to drop, especially when you think you're finally content, and happy with where you are in life.

“What do you mean you said no? Twice?!” Wade demanded

 

“I said no” Jack shrugged. “Why do you care?”

 

“Because you don’t just say no to becoming an Avenger!”

 

“Well I did.”

 

“Why?!” Wade wailed “You’ve ruined all my dreams!”

 

“I thought you said you were like this” Jack crossed her fingers, “With all the Avengers.”

 

“Well I may have… fibbed a little.”

 

“A little?”

 

“Okay a lot” Wade sighed, “I’m not exactly at the top of their friends list.”

 

“Are you even at the top of anyones friend list?”

 

“Okay, ow” Wade placed his hand over his heart.

 

“My point is” Jack sighed “Is that I don’t want to be an Avenger.  After all the horrible shit I went through over the years I’m finally at a comfortable place in my life with a sense of normality, and I want to keep it.”

 

“Bitch, you ain’t normal.”

 

“Excuse you?” Jack raised an eyebrow at Wade daring him to say anything else.

 

“I’m just saying you aren’t normal.  Neither am I.  I wasn’t meant to do, or be normal, and neither were you.”

 

Jack scoffed.  “You’re so full of shit Wade it’s unbelievable.”

 

“What else is new, anyway I’ll leave you to… your grading” Wade shuddered at the thought of school, and work before he made his way out of the window of Jacks apartment.  She shook her head.  She needed to get the locks changed.  Wait, no.  That wouldn’t stop him.  She needed a new apartment… in a new country.

 

* * *

 

When Jack’s older brother had talked her into getting an alarm system for her apartment she’d agreed mostly just to shut him up.  He didn’t know about his baby sisters… specialness.  So when she’d finally relented all he’d said was that it made him feel better.

 

She hadn’t ever expected that alarm to go off.

 

So here she was at two am in nothing but a pair of panties, and a tank top scrambling out of her bed heart racing a mile a minute.  She opened her bedroom door, and looked into the living room.  The light from the hallway of the apartment building didn’t do much to light her apartment, but it cast some very intimidating silhouettes of the three people who had invaded the apartment.

 

“She’s here!” One called out. A gun fired hitting the dry wall right next to the bedroom door.

 

Jack screamed, and pulled her door closed flicking the lock into place.  She dove across the room yanking her phone off the charger, and scrolling through her contacts.  She hit call over the name of the only person who could really help her.

 

“ _y’llo?_ ”

 

“Wade? Wade, I need your help someone just broke into my apartme-”

 

“ _Psyche! Fuckin’ gotcha.  Anyway leave a message I’m a little too busy fuckin’ my girlfriend, or fuckin’ up some douchebags… or just fuckin’ up my life._ ”

 

She waited for the beep.

 

“Wade I just want you to know that I fucking hate you, and if I die tonight I will haunt your ass for eternity.”

 

She hung up, and then called the _second_ person who could help her.

 

“ _Just cause I don’t sleep doesn’t mean I want to be getting called at two in the morning, it better be good._ ”

 

“Tony!  I need help, three people just broke into my apartment, and-”

 

“ _Whoa, whoa, calm down.  First of all who is this?_ ”

 

“It’s Jack Blackwall you fucking asshole!”

 

“ _Someone broke into your apartment? Why aren’t you handling it yourself?_ ”

 

“Because I don’t fight Tony, I don’t know how to fight, all my power is good for is cheap parlor tricks, and giving a dick a telekinetic wedgie, I need help!”

 

“ _Look Sweetheart, just calm down, take a deep breath_.”

 

The bedroom door rattled as someone tried to break it down. Jack screamed.

 

“ _Okay, calm down, what was that?_ ”

 

“They’re trying to break into my room! Please Tony, I need you!”

 

“ _I’m on my way, I’ll be there in minutes I promise, you just stay on the line with me okay? I’m here._ ”

 

“Just hurry please, I can’t do this.”

 

The door splintered.

 

“Shit!”

 

“ _Talk to me!_ ”

 

“The doors starting to give, I – I got nowhere else to go!”

 

“ _Try holding the door in place_.”

 

“…Like with my body? I know I’m a heavy set girl Tony, but those are three very large, very strong, very well armed people!”

 

“ _I meant with your powers genius, that’s something you can at least try to do right?_ ”

 

Jack focused the flow of energy in her right hand, and pushed the energy against the door.  The door stopped buckling, but she could feel every hit the door took.  She wasn’t nearly strong enough to hold it in place for long.

 

“I won’t be able to keep it up forever!”

 

“ _Not forever, just long enough_ ” Tony assured.

 

“For what?”

 

Then came the crashing sound from the living room as glass, and furniture broke.

 

“ _It’s Iron Man!_ ” One of the intruders yelled. 

 

She heard the sound of guns firing, and people yelling.  It only took a few minutes for the commotion to stop, and finally the alarm turned off.  There as a knock on the bedroom door.

 

Jack hung up her phone, and released her hold on the door.  It swung in, and in stepped Iron Man.  The suit opened, Tony walked out.

 

“Long enough for me to kick all their asses.”

 

Jack frowned.  “You really held that, for that long?”

 

“Hey listen, I just saved your ass!”

 

And then came the emotional break down.

 

“Shit” Tony sighed watching as Jack began to cry big fat tears running down her face as she tried to breathe through her sobs.

 

“C’mon don’t cry” Tony said walking over to her.

 

“I ca – an’t stop” She wailed wiping at her eyes.

 

“It’s okay, you’re safe now, I promise.” Tony said, awkwardly patting her shoulder.

 

Jack turned, and latched onto him.

 

“Whoa, okay, that’s uh – that’s a big no no.  I don’t do the whole… touching thing.”

 

Jack just cried louder.

 

“How about I take you to the tower okay? No one can get you there, I swear it.  Would that make you feel better?”

 

Jack just shrugged but kept crying.

 

“Okay yeah, that’s…” Tony just sighed, and patted her back.  “Lemme make a call quick okay?”

 

* * *

 

“She’s the mutant you were talking to Wade about?” Natasha whispered to Tony as she stepped into the ruined apartment.

 

“Yeah, she’s a little – little emotional right now.”

 

“Okay” Natasha shrugged.

 

“I’m just saying… be nice.  You have a tendency to…”

 

“To?”

 

“To – well to be kind of cold.  She needs a little niceness right now.”

 

“I’m always nice” Natasha assured.

 

Tony made the so – so gesture with his hand.

 

“I’m nicer than you” She countered.

 

“Debatable.”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes, and stepped over the bodies – definitely Hydra, or some kind of freelance mercenary – and into the young woman’s.  Jack sat on her bed rocking back, and forth with a cat nestled comfortable in her arms.

 

“What’s her name?” Natasha smiled.

 

“His name’s Handsome Jack” Jack sniffled looking up.  “What’s yours?”

 

“I’m Natasha Romanov-”

 

“Black Widow right?”

 

“Yeah.  And you’re Jack Blackwall right?”

 

“Yeah.  Look, I’m – I’m sorry about all this.  I freaked the fuck out, and I called Tony cause I didn’t know what else to do.”

 

“You did the right thing” Natasha assured.

 

“So now what?” Jack asked.

 

“Well Tony thought it would be a good idea to have you stay at the tower for a few days while we figure out who these people are, and why they came for you.”

 

“If they found me once, they can just find me again can’t they?”

 

“They can, but wouldn’t be stupid enough to attack you at the tower.”

 

“But they’d try it while I was out in public? Or at work? Or even go after my family to get to me?”

 

“It’s a possibility” Natasha nodded.

 

“The other shoe always drops doesn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments, and kudos keep me going so don't forget to do both!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of past rape/tourture

“I don’t know why you think this would ever work between us” Jack sighed plopping down on Tony’s couch in his apartment.

 

“I don’t know why you don’t even want to give me a chance” Tony countered “I’m not the guy in the tabloids anymore.  I’m just a guy.”

 

“Tony, first, and foremost, I am half your age.”

 

“It’s just a number.”

 

“When you’re fifty, I’m still going to be in my twenties.”

 

“Doesn’t bother me, and it shouldn’t bother you if you care about the other person enough.”

 

Jack shifted uncomfortably, and Tony took notice quickly.

 

“Does my age make you uncomfortable Jack?”

 

“No, that’s… that’s not what this is about.”

 

“Then what?”

 

“You keep saying you care about me, and you keep giving me all these reasons, and… _things_.”

 

“Gifts” Tony insisted “They’re just gifts I promise.”

 

“The fact is Tony, is that I don’t know you.  You know every little detail about me because you dug around in my personal records, and medical records, and all that but you don’t know me.”  Jack shook her head.  “You don’t know me, and I don’t know you.”

 

Tony sat down on the coffee table in front of Jack, and nodded somberly.

 

“What do you want to know?”

 

“Everything.”

 

He took a deep breath.

 

“Hi, Jacquelin Blackwall right?” He offered his hand, Jack giggled, and took it, and Tony grinned as he shook her hand.  “My names Anthony… and I’m an alcoholic.”

 

And then he told her his story.  All of it.

 

And she still wanted him.

 

All of him.

 

“You haven’t run away yet” Tony chuckled nervously, his stomach twisted in knots because every single one of his gut instincts told him to never open up, never get close, because if you do that you can’t get hurt.

 

But he didn’t know that Jack was the exact same.  A life time of heart break, and betrayal will leave a person broken, and closed off, and unwilling to let anyone in, because if you even risk letting someone back in, you risk getting hurt.

 

She’d rather be numb, and alone then feel that pain again.

 

And Tony was the same.

 

“I would never run away Anthony.”

 

And he swore it felt like the weight of the world was lifting off his shoulders with that statement.

 

He wanted her.  He _needed_ her.

 

“Tony?”

 

“Not gonna lie, I – I didn’t think this far ahead, I didn’t think you’d… well I didn’t think this far ahead.”

 

“You thought I would’ve bolted after everything you told me?”

 

He nodded.

 

“I wouldn’t do that to you.  I get it.  This shit is hard… opening up to new people, letting them in… it’s like relearning everything.”

 

“So I told you my story… what’s yours?”

 

It started with a scar.  Perfect circle on her upper arm – an injection mark that never went away.

 

“I wasn’t born a mutant, I was made.”

 

And she told him of Weapon X, what had made her, what had made Wade.  She hadn’t undergone the treatments willingly.

 

She’d known Wade back when he was still a merc for hire running around New York.  He’d saved her from a stalker. 

 

“Wade always had a weakness for helping young girls stay safe.  I was… oh I was seventeen when I met him.”

 

“So you knew him before he…”

 

“Before he looked like a radioactive nutsack yeah.”

 

Tony grimaced at the words.  Jack laughed.

 

“He used to be super fuckin’ hot, and I mean… just ridiculously hot, and he was ripped too, and it was like his ass was sculpted by Greek artists-”

 

“Hey we’re talking about you not how hot Wade Wilson used to be.”

 

“Right right, I’m just saying though… Wade was stupid hot. Anyway, I kinda just kept running into him for a few months after that, and next thing I knew I had a thirty something best friend who killed people for money, and for fun.  And then he met Vanessa, and I’d never seen him happier.  And then he got cancer.”

 

She’d gone looking for Wade, sticking her nose where it never should have been.  But she wanted to bring him home, even if it was just to live out the rest of his days he deserved to be at home, comfortable, with the love of his life.

 

And then she stuck her nose too far.

 

“I remember waking up strapped to a gurney.”

 

“They experimented on you?”

 

“Well they injected me with Weapon X.  It was meant to unlock latent mutant genetics.  But for those of us who it doesn’t produce immediate results in we were branded as failures.  And then it got worse.”

 

“How much worse?”

 

She showed Tony another set of scars, these ones on her back.

 

“What did they do to you?”

 

“They tortured me.  They tortured Wade.  Dr. Killebrew – the geneticist in charge of Weapon X - claimed that the only way to make Weapon X work after it failed the first time was to put our bodies under constant stress, kinda like a fight or flight instinct.  When it got bad enough our bodies would finally mutate as a self-preservation sort of thing.”

 

“What made you break?”

 

“They…”

 

She remembered being strapped down.  Her ability to move, to fight back taken away from her.  Not being able to move a muscle, or lift a finger in her own defense.  She remembered the hands on her body, the way they pulled at the meager cloth covering her, how she was ruined.  Some days she swore she could still feel their hands on her, and their fingers inside of her.

 

She could only assume Tony was looking at her in shame now, disgusted by her, by what she’d allowed to happen to her.

 

“It wasn’t your fault.” He said.

 

“Wasn’t it though?”

 

“No.  It wasn’t.  You didn’t ask for that.  No one does.”

 

“Finally I think my body had had enough, or I had had enough… I can never remember.  But then I was finally able to fight back.  I think that’s why my power manifested the way it did.  They took my ability to move, and fight for myself, which is why my mind does it for me now.”

 

“How many of you did they do this to?”

 

“Dozens, hundreds, I have no clue.  I just know that there were plenty of others before me, and with Dr. Killebrew still alive… there have been more after me.”

 

Tony took her hand.

 

“Just say the word, and I can make this our next mission.  We will find Killebrew, and we’ll shut this all down, I swear it.”

 

It felt like everything in her chest seized, and like her throat was being squeezed tight.

 

“You mean that?” She whispered.

 

“Just say the word.  No one deserves to suffer like that, and we have the means to make sure they don’t suffer like that anymore.”

 

“Tony I don’t…”

 

“Just say it.”

 

“I can’t yet… I don’t – I wouldn’t be any good on that mission.  Either I’d freak, and kill him, or I’d freak, and get myself killed.  I’m not ready for that yet.”

 

“I understand.  Everything.”

 

They looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment, basking in the mutual acceptance of how mentally, and how emotionally fucked up they both were, and how they both more than understood.  Accepted.  Wanted.

 

And then they were kissing.  Neither knew which of them initiated, but something in Jack’s mind told her she didn’t deserve this, she didn’t deserve someone as good as Tony, and she tried to pull away.

 

But Tony’s hand came around to hold the back of her neck, and press himself closer to her, seeking – begging – for that closeness that only two people with a shared pain can have.

 

So she let him, fighting back the negative thoughts that plagued, and consumed her around every corner of her mind.

 

When he finally pulled away Tony pressed his forehead against Jack’s and they sat there like that for a time.

 

“I wanna take back that comment I made about you.”

 

“Which one?”

 

And they both laughed, but Tony knew that it wasn’t a real one because the things he’d said, and called her had been too much, too cruel.  But Jack thought – knew – that she deserved it.  No one could ever care about her.

 

“When I said you were decent looking, and I called you a six.”

 

Jack laughed again, this one sounding just as sad, and hollow.

 

“You finally realize that I’m like a… two?”

 

“No” Tony shook his head, and pulled back to get a good look at Jack.  “I’m finally starting to realize that you’re… you’re…”

 

“What?”

 

“Everything” and he exhaled a big breath, and looked Jack dead in the eye nothing but genuine sincerity on his face.  “God you’re just… everything.”


End file.
